A Day in the Life of Jeff Bower

11:00 p.m. CST

: Jeffy! Buddy!

: Hi Donald.

: Hey buddy lissten, got this guy here, great kid, great point guard by the name Marcus Williams, great kid.

: Go on. You want to trade him here? How come Chris Mullin hasn't called?

: Well, yeah he will, should. You know, been thinking, my roster, here in the Golden State, I was sleeping last night and I woke up suddenly, and you know, I realized, I have no swingmen! Terrible feeling to have, the one in the pit of the stomach kind of thing.

: /listens incredulously

: My spies tell me you could solve what ails me, cure what ailss me, administer the potion.

: You want Butler?

: Butler! Razwall! You know, ever ssince I lost that kid Michael Peters, this team has been in the pits, the absolute pits, I even called the Magic and then... they, they, ssaid, no

: /starts to cry

: ...

: Do you want to meet some time?

: Yes! I'll be there in 5 minutes!

: Wait... how? Where are you?

: Bourbon Sstreet

: /collapses with a thud

: Should've guessed.

*** 5 hours later

: Ey yo JB dis Steph aka the Stephinator aka the Starberry aka Marbleman straight out Brooklyn aka Brooknam aka Black Disneyland finally done with the moustache man you feeling me You in the business for a PG now I ain't no GP but I'll back up CP you feeling me been averagin 20 mil a year but yo let me cut a deal for ya JB how's about 19 sound You know my man Isiah right yeah for real you do He always tell me you're true to the game, the game gonna be true to you you feeling me So whenever you know the truth the truth lies on top all the time you feeling me So you feel bad that these bad things happening but at the same time in the back of his mind he knows what's right you feeling me For real though I'ma drop those triples like my man Ray Ray you feeling me drop some dimes on my brah brahs I know you big on those dimes so I'ma keep it real When I get to the NOLA I'm def gonna get it popping with the long range flame thrower Stojakovic you feeling me Give you the straight cash homes you feeling me holla atcha boy Nuh nuh nuh gone.

: /Slams head against brick wall