Navigation: Jump to content areas:


Pro Quality. Fan Perspective.
Login-facebook
Around SBN: Champions League Preview with Jimmy Conrad

NBA Contraction Official

[From the FanPosts. Got some links on the way, but first RyanCaz has some news that is a little bit more serious. -R]

The NBA has officially contracted, according to sources extremely close to the situation.

Star-divide

Sources very close to the situation have revealed that the NBA has officially contracted.

"I grew tired of phoning the referees and telling them to blow calls against stupid teams like the New Orleans Hornets or the Minnesota Timberwolves, so that my big market teams can win the games they are supposed to win. It was becoming such a hassle," said David Stern, NBA Commissioner, according to a source who says he's Stern's drinking buddy. "Besides, it was starting to look like the Spurs were going to make the Finals again. O-M-G, who wants to see that?"

The contraction won't be official until after the Carmelo Anthony trade, which has reportedly gone through, according to sources. "I was waiting until Carmelo joined a real team," said Stern according to his drinking friend.

The NBA will now consist of five teams as follows.Nba_medium

The league will be divided into one conference. Teams will continue their 82-game schedule for revenue purposes, and the playoffs will still consist of best-of-7 series. With there being an odd number of teams, Stern has determined that the Lakers are exempt from the playoffs, and that the winner of the first two rounds of playoffs will always face the Lakers in the NBA Finals.

"Sometimes I may default the Celtics as automatically in the Finals. I hope that most of the time it ends up being Lakers vs. Celtics," said Stern, according to a source.

The NBA D-League has been downgraded to the NBA F-League in order to make room for a new NBA D-League:

 Dleague_medium

"I hope to one day make it to the NBA and play for a real coach like Erik Spoelstra. And to also play along with really good basketball players like Kobe and Zydrunas," said NBA-hopeful Derron Williams of the NBA D-League Utah Jazz., according to a team representative close to Williams. "I want to play in an arena full of Spike Lees and the such, not Mormons. It's sooooo boring here in Utah."

Stern has dismantled the Oklahoma City Thunder due to player boredom, and the NBA will redraft OKC's players. Stern says, "Players like Durant and Westbrook are too good to waste in such a snoozer of a city... or state for that matter. Where are they going to club on the weekend? No clubs in OKC are cool to tweet or facebook about. And I'll give Seattle their team back so they can shut up."

Chris Paul of the New Orleans Hornets said, "If I keep working hard and making commercials, I hope that'll help me one day play for the Lakers. L.A. doesn't have a football team to distract fans from watching me play." 

According to a source close to Chris Paul, Paul also said, "It would be a dream come true to play in the NBA... I mean, oops, I should correct myself, since the league is changing its name to the Kia National Basketball Association. It would be a dream come true to play in the Kia NBA."

Comment 7 comments  |  4 recs  | 

Do you like this story?

Comments

Display:

Good timing ryan

here’s what i wrote on the possibility of which teams may be targetted for contraction.

-Utah (without jerry sloan, nba players would prefer not to play there)
-Detroit (economy in shambles like greece, detroit shock already gone. sign of things to come?)
-Cleveland (lebron james destroyed the franchise)
-charlotte (even BET owner bob johnson bailed out and sold team to jordan at a discount)
-San Antonio? (this small market team will not survive without david robinson and tim duncan)
-new orleans (nobody can afford to maintain this team, nba had to bail out shinn)
- Oklahoma (is safe… as long as kevin durant stays with the team.)

more…

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;ylt=AorB528lSI9Nu7bQrH4vhHTty6IX;ylv=3?qid=20110221232234AAucP6I

by John Marzan on Feb 22, 2011 1:32 AM CST reply actions  

Explanation

This is just me being extremely frustrated with the current state of the NBA.
-Franchises are owned and controlled by players, not GMs.
-Stern only cares about his big market teams winning, but contraction makes the league look bad. So he’ll keep the small teams around as long as he can.
-Players don’t want to play for small market teams. Seriously, the Utah Jazz have a big legacy. Maybe Malone and Stockton didn’t win a championship, but that was because of Michael Jordan. They stuck together for a long time. Why would you not want to play for this team? How can you take the fact that you play a game for a living for granted???
-At this rate, college players drafted will start to boycott if they are drafted by small market teams.

I freaking hate the Spurs. But if all this mess continues, and if the Hornets can’t make a run for the title, I hope San Antonio wins the championship this year. Forget Stern, the Knicks, Lakers, and the Heat.

Reppin' the Lafayette Hornets fans.

by RyanCaz on Feb 22, 2011 7:06 PM CST reply actions  

Most least likely.

The rankings based on statistics, owner, fanbase, and Market. 1-5 least likely

1. Portland Trail Blazers- 2 in Attendence, 6th winningist franchis, Richest owner, and NW.
2. LA Lakers- Championships, Average Attendence, Average Owner, and large market.
3. Boston Cletic’s- Championships, Decent Market, Lots of History, loyal fans.
4. New York- Large Market, Famous Arena, and History.
5. Chicago Bulls- Large market, lots of History, MJ, top In attendence.

by Kellon Hughes on Mar 1, 2011 10:56 AM CST reply actions  

Blazer fan here

I can’t imagine what it would be like to lose your NBA team. I have a lot of friends and family from the Seattle area who were die hard Sonic Fans who don’t even want to talk ball now because they are still so discusted. The scary thing about the Sonics moving to OKC was that they did have loyal fans, they did have a better than average attendance record and they had history there. Stern makes me sick. The fact that he let that move transpire shows his true colors. Its not about fans, its about dollars. Plain and simple.

"AND THE GAME IS OVER! THE GAME IS OVER!! THE PORTLAND TRAILBLAZERS HAVE WON THE NBA CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!" Bill Schonely, game 6 of the NBA Finals, 1977 and 2011

by dirtboydave on Mar 2, 2011 1:37 PM CST reply actions  

Absolutely.

And I think the new CBA will take forever to negotiate…

Reppin' the Lafayette Hornets fans.

by RyanCaz on Mar 2, 2011 8:40 PM CST up reply actions  

Jazz fan here...

Contraction &/or relocation to bigger markets is scary business for all small-market teams, but it seems to be inevitable for some franchises, probably including Utah.

Sacramento will most likely lose the Kings to Anaheim this summer, because the LA area needs 3 NBA teams to make up for having no NFL teams. New Jersey, although not technically a small market, is losing its team to Brooklyn, but even so, the NY area will need to acquire another team at some point to keep pace with LA’s 3.

The Bobcats, Grizzlies & your Hornets are all younger franchises, small markets, don’t have much history & are having financial difficulties, so they could all be moved/moved again/removed in the next few years. Maybe they can all move to NY, so that each of the 5 burroughs can have its own team (Can’t believe Stern hasn’t thought of this).

Utah, because there really isn’t any competition from other pro-sports teams, or practically anything else in the area, & because of the franchise’s winning history will have some leeway, but it has never attracted free agents, just lost its superstar & its hall of fame coach, so if the team doesn’t draft &/or trade well over the next few years, I may be without a team. Maybe the Jazz’ll be temporarilly moved back to New Orleans to replace the Hornets, before being axed.

by Waxmaster on Mar 6, 2011 9:56 PM CST reply actions  

Comments For This Post Are Closed


User Tools

Welcome to At the Hive, New Orleans' fourth most popular folk-parody Hornets blog.

FanPosts

Community blog posts and discussion.

Recent FanPosts

Youngreezyhornets_small
NBA 2K12 Online Association
Images_small
The New Orleans ____?____
Chrispaul2_small
Game 56: Timberwolves v. Hornets
Small
2/3 down, 1/3 to go
Sharingannico_small
History of Lottery Picks
Sharingannico_small
NBA Draft Lottery

+ New FanPost All FanPosts >


Editor

Paul_small Rohan

Associate Editor

Aaron_gray_small Brian Ball

Small mattmc89

Facetap_reasonably_small_small Will H.

Author

Hornets_small Caleb462

Ng_tank_cartoon_with_threads_by_lordzeppo_small MrWayneKeller

Small Paul Sondhi

Alumni

Hldomingue-nola_small hldomingue

148514_1489161988410_1214760012_31211856_5008974_n_small GeauxHornets

Small andrew61388