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Suggested Yearbook Quotes

A few years ago, Bill Simmons wrote a couple columns in which he and his readers came up with a series of yearbook quotes they wished they could have used. They were great lists, but they were aimed at 30-something men, and kids these days need their own quotes, so I'll put together a list for them.

I definitely hate the quote I chose, some drivel about how "a poet must write". It wasn't fun. It wasn't funny. It wasn't insightful in any way. I aim to make this list a group of fun, funny, and perhaps even insightful potential yearbook quotes for the new generation. Some of these were gathered on a previous blog project of mine, here.



"If y'all see me in the news, and I make the news for something that I ain't got no business making it for, don't bash me. Say it was a young guy living."

-- Clinton Portis


"Your mom goes to college."

-- Kip


"I'm sorry, officer. I didn't know I couldn't do that."

-- Dave Chappelle


"Earth! Fire! Wind! Water! Heart!"

-- The Planeteers


"You tell 'em I'm coming! And Hell's coming with me, you hear? Hell's coming with me!"

-- Wyatt Earp


"No, kids. Daddy didn't really look like this."

-- Lee Dolson, a senior when I was a freshman in high school


"I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster and drank pina coladas. At sunset we made love like sea otters. That was a pretty good day. Why couldn't I get that day over and over and over..."

-- Phil Conners


"Sometimes, the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves."

-- The Simpsons


"You can pay for school, but you can't buy class."

-- Jay-Z


"One day when you're looking back, you were young, and, man, you were sad. When you're young, you get sad."

-- Ryan Adams


"While your guys are out partying, my guys are running routes."

-- Gary Grobowski


"Life doesn't care about your vision. You just gotta roll with it."

-- Knocked Up


"Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it. You know, I just ... do things."

-- Joker


What else you got?