The 76ers winning? You must have grabbed the stars and realigned them.
The entire city's hopes are lying behind Andrew Bynum
I'm sorry about that, Iggy was done there, what can you do?
And why can't your point guard use the proper spelling, I'm talking Jrue
Ballin like Doug Collins, defense is saggy
Imagine your passing is bad when you start a dude named Swaggy
How could you trade Moe Harkless? Spencer Hawes is starting regardless.
Vucci Mane down in Orlando currently going the hardest.
My last question is.. How do your tickets even sell?
Your GM is on crack like the Liberty Bell.
You're 21-27, I thought this year y'all were supposed to thrive!
Wait, I have another question... Is Andrew Bynum's hair alive?
You have too many washed up players, how is that fun?
The only youth you can enjoy are Nick and Thaddeus Young
There are players on your roster to the tune of Shelvin Mack
He'll be recalled to the D-League in place of Andrew Bynum's back
J-Rich is past his prime and Spencer Hawes looks straight silly
How did you lose by 20 to the Pistons in Philly?
It's not a celebration when Jrue Holiday's your biggest star
You could probably still sign Allen Iverson and he'd be your best by far
Oh, I'm sorry your whole team is hurt
But no mercy, our talent disparity is overt.
With these rhymes we cook like steaks
Then we throw 'em atcha like Kwame and cakes
I didn't know but Evan Turner is a Villain?
He's barely better than the last NBA player named Dylan*
Ivey is royal if Arnett Moultrie is poultry
Your deficits linger and grow with each cold three
And Maalik Wayns, your shooting is putting you to shame
I'd rather watch movies from the brothers with your surname
* There has never been an NBA player named Dylan.